Especially today, since Thief of Hearts is wrapped up in a guilty pleasure eighties bow complete with ridiculous music cues indicating an untouched desire fulfilled! Just in case we missed the slow motion feel up steamy at the shooting range (again, dudes thinking a chick with a gun is some power turn on), before the over the top dialogue moves to the smashingly Duran Duran decorated bedroom. However, having said all that, the uneven presentation doesn’t stop one from watching solely for that sauce. Again, it doesn’t mean we don’t- the sauce is the reason to watch- but the pre-huge erotica market purple film prose here is flawed and suffice to say, not for dudes. I can feel him.’ Really, despite a man’s man name like Bruckheimer probably trying to disassociate himself from Thief of Hearts, one of intelligence from either sex doesn’t openly admit to watching this kind of film. Unless men really have a secret spot for eighties sappy would-be soft core, ‘I know he’s reading them.
SARAWEN THIEF OF HEARTS MOVIE
Even with the fictitious ideas of women and would be dangerous heist action, this movie isn’t a drooling guys’ picture. Unfortunately for Thief of Hearts, this unbalanced bias creates quite a problem. The running jokes about Mickey’s horny friend and design partner Janie (a lovely Christine Ebersole, SNL) living dirty and liking her brand nasty is also much more about the guy’s idea of a woman liking it rough more than the reality of the roughness. Toss in the mixed attempt of heavy eighties crime and danger with the iffy housewife romance, and the double fantasy just doesn’t work. Thief of Hearts would have the audience believe this is a good thing- but is it really? This blooming and blossoming sexual experience is wrapped in deceit, trading one possessive guy for another, and if you think about it too much, it’s all a little too weird. What chick is okay with this? Honestly, a hood literally bumps into a rich housewife at the grocery store and the over the top seduction goes on from there. But spoiler alert, the romantic elements are totally unrealistic against the criminal aspects of the film and the reality of such a dangerous and deceptive relationship. Writer and director Douglas Day Stewart ( An Officer and a Gentleman) mistakenly creates what he thinks is every chick’s fantasy- to be roughed up by a criminal who isn’t really that bad of a guy and maybe even ends up a changed man because of you! While I’m not saying that isn’t a perfectly good fantasy indulgence- this movie makes a wonderful case for letting your mind roam, indeed. Fortunately, all the cheesy eighties juice remains in the best guilty pleasure fashion. I saw parts of this preposterously kinky 1984 romance believe it or not produced by Jerry Bruckheimer ( CSI, The Amazing Race, Pirates of the Caribbean, National Treasure, the list goes on…) off and on years ago on television as a kid- you know, exactly when I wasn’t supposed to see it! It’s taken this long- just short of forever it feels like- to find it again.
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